Mind Tools
During the journey I have been I have tried many 'things' to gain a better understanding of 'who I am' and 'what's going on in my head'. I have become more aware of my ADD, depression, procrastination, communication, learning style and essentially what works best for me. All of this helped me, but you are different. Some of these may be suitable, some not. I am not telling you to do them. But I am asking you to go with your gut. I have provided lots of free information and some which only cost a nominal fee.
Tapping
I believe it can work, repeating a mantra of, I can do well etc, can help emotional regulation. Personally, I have found it doesn't matter where you tap, its just the action.
Tapping, or Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), is a powerful self-regulation tool that involves gently stimulating specific meridian endpoints on your body while focusing on an emotional issue. The core idea is that emotional distress, like the anxiety or anger that derails conversations, creates a disturbance in your body's energy system. By tapping these points (like the side of the hand, eyebrow, and collarbone) you send a calming signal directly to the brain's fear center (the amygdala). This quickly helps settle your nervous system, effectively "turning down the volume" on the emotional noise that prevents you from thinking clearly.
This practice is key for creating response time in high-stakes situations. Instead of automatically defaulting to a negative reaction—which is the root of communication breakdowns—tapping helps you stay present and regulated. This intentional pause allows you to step out of "fight-or-flight" and access your reasoned, strategic mind. You can then consciously choose the new, effective communication script you've developed, making Tapping a perfect hands-on tool for mastering boundaries and conflict with a clear head.
Mindfulness
I have found this excellent for sleep, being in touch with ones gut, for me this means understanding what the body wants, but also in helping with negative repetitive thinking.
Mindfulness, at its core, is simply the practice of paying attention to the present moment—your breath, your body, your environment—and doing so without judgment. It's not about emptying your mind or becoming perfectly peaceful; it’s about training your focus, much like strengthening a muscle. When you practice this regularly, you create mental space. This space is absolutely essential because it allows you to observe powerful emotions or communication triggers (like a partner’s sharp tone or a sales negotiation challenge) without immediately reacting.
This practice works by giving you crucial response time. In communication, the immediate, often destructive reaction (the "noise" we talked about) happens automatically. Mindfulness inserts a cognitive pause, allowing you to recognize, "Ah, I feel anger rising," and then consciously choose a skilled response from your toolkit, rather than defaulting to an old, damaging pattern. It lowers your overall stress baseline, making it easier to stay calm and regulated even when the conversation is difficult, which is the foundation for successfully setting boundaries and moving relationships forward.
This practice works by giving you crucial response time. In communication, the immediate, often destructive reaction (the "noise" we talked about) happens automatically. Mindfulness inserts a cognitive pause, allowing you to recognize, "Ah, I feel anger rising," and then consciously choose a skilled response from your toolkit, rather than defaulting to an old, damaging pattern. It lowers your overall stress baseline, making it easier to stay calm and regulated even when the conversation is difficult, which is the foundation for successfully setting boundaries and moving relationships forward.
Meditation
Meditation is a focused practice where you intentionally set aside time to cultivate deep, sustained attention, usually by focusing on a single anchor like the breath or a mantra. Unlike the casual practice of mindfulness (which you can do while washing dishes or commuting), meditation is the dedicated training session for your brain. By sitting and consistently returning your attention to the anchor whenever your mind wanders, you strengthen your capacity for focused attention and emotional regulation. Over time, this daily exercise literally changes the physical structure of your brain, reducing the size of the amygdala (the brain's fear centre) and increasing grey matter in areas related to executive function and self-control. The result is a profound baseline reduction in reactivity, making you far more resilient when faced with real-world triggers.
The key difference lies in the application versus the exercise. Mindfulness is the goal—it is the state of non-judgmental awareness you achieve. Meditation is the method—the formal, repeated exercise you use to get there. Meditation helps you sit with uncomfortable emotions (like anxiety or guilt) in a safe, quiet space. By learning to observe these feelings without reacting on the cushion, you build the muscle memory required to maintain calm and clarity when those same emotions arise during a high-stakes conversation. This means your new communication strategies and boundaries won't crumble under pressure, because you've trained your nervous system to stay regulated.
The Power of Vulnerability
Like so many others I found this to be a game changer.
We often confuse vulnerability with weakness, but it is actually the most courageous thing you can do. In the context of relationships and communication, vulnerability means showing up and being seen when you can't control the outcome—like having an honest talk about a boundary, or admitting you need help. This is the only way to break destructive communication cycles. If you stay guarded and protective, you stay stuck in the same pattern, whether it's in your personal life or a high-stakes meeting.
The acclaimed researcher Brené Brown says that vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and change. Why? Because you cannot have a real, meaningful relationship with someone who is hiding behind a carefully constructed defense. For you, this means having the courage to speak your truth, even when it feels risky, and letting your partners or colleagues know where you authentically stand. It is the essential key to switching from guarded, transactional interactions to genuine, sustainable connections, both at home and in the boardroom.